I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize