I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
How does one acquire holy water?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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