At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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