When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Someone shit on the floor
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
