You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This toilet bowl is my home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
