He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
