youre lurking in front of me
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize