I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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