So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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