Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She bit a glass in half.
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Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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