Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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