I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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