ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
