She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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