i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
