ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
