Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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