Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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