What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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