Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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