I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
