i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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