i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
nutella sex= disaster
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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