I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
