I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
