Are we in a gay sports bar?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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