And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
