smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
