I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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