dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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