Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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