drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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