what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
