me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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