Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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