I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
