11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
