I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
