I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
