So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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