this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
