Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
