a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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