I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize