FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
