Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
