just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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