yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
