After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
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you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.