Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.