I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.