none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...