What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin