well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i believe in u and ur pee
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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