1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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