my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
