It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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