even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
