we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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