Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
