so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
