She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
