hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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