Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
