nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize