it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
