You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
