the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
