I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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