he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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