Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
